Wednesday, September 7, 2011

2011 Season Preview: New England Patriots


2010 Record: 14-2

2010 Rankings:
Total Offense - 8
Passing Offense - 11
Rushing Offense - 9
Scoring Offense - 1
Total Defense - 25
Pass Defense - 11
Rush Defense - 9
Scoring Defense - 8

Offense

All signs point to Tom Brady and this collection of douchebags having another good season. Want to force them into a bad game? Get pressure up the middle and knock Brady around. Take away his ability to step up in the pocket.

Defense

Besides Jerrod Mayo who led the league in tackles last year, does anyone know who any of these guys are?

Intangibles

Chances are, they'll ride a wave of douchebaggery to another AFC East title and into the playoffs once again.

If the Patriots were a Beer, they would be:


Stone Ruination IPA

It's trendy, people who supposedly know things about beer tell you you should like it, but when you drink it, your mouth tells you you're drinking horse piss mixed with donkey spit. To top it off, after you swallow, your mouth feels like you're munching on cow pies. 

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