Thursday, October 9, 2014

The Brice is Right: Steelers Win

 (yeah I'm lazy and haven't updated my Jags logo)

Jacksonville opted to wear their home whites because their jersey combinations are bizarre.

What a picture.

Wheaton drops an easy out-route on 3rd down and it's 3-and-out for the offense right off the bat.

The Jags come out throwing because of course they do and get into 3rd and 2 where Toby Gerhart and his 2.1 yards per carry converts by getting 2.1 yards. The Jags continue to move the ball through the air and get into Steelers territory. Bortles sneaks it on 4th and 1 and keeps the defense on the field on the edge of field goal range. The defense holds to a 3rd and 10 but Bortles is able to scramble for the first down. The defense catches a break when the Jags get called for a hold then Stephon Tuitt gets a rare opportunity to play and he gets a sack.


We get a Dri Archer sighting, but besides that nothing much else happens. AB drops a WR screen on 3rd and 4. Ridiculous play call.

Jacksonville gets into a 3rd and 1 but decides to throw the ball rather than give it to Gerhart. Strange. Punt.

The Steelers finally get moving when they decide to throw the ball vertically to AB. The Prescription gets in on the act by bouncing a run to the outside for 29 yards down the sideline to move into field goal range.

Second Quarter

Ben hits AB again to get us down inside the 5 but then the offense out-thinks itself. Ben throws a WR screen to AB with Jacksonville in press coverage then tries the back corner of the end zone fade. On 3rd down, Ben gets sacked as he tries to step up away from pressure. Le'Veon Bell didn't touch the ball after his 29-yard run, and Haley didn't call any running plays on 3 snaps inside the 5. Strange.


The Special Teams decides that just one penalty isn't enough and gets called twice for offsides. On the third kickoff, Suisham pooches one and forces a fair catch.

Luckily, Jacksonville takes a dump on themselves with back-to-back holding penalties that nullify 29 yards worth of offense and put them in 1st and 30. Two plays later, Bortles takes a shot down the sideline but underthrows the ball and Cortez Allen makes a routine pick as he's running with inside position on the WR.

LeGarrette Blount gets some work and takes a screen pass into Jags territory, but a sack on the following play sets things back and the Steelers piddle away a turnover by the defense.

If we were playing any other team in the league, there might be some cause for concern, but the Jags suck and go 3-and-out.

The Steelers finally decide to use the middle of the field and Ben finds Heath who makes a great leaping catch for 30 yards. Will Johnson gets a catch on a somewhat broken play then Blount gets us into the red zone. The Steelers once again decide to stop running the ball once they get to the red zone and throw 5 straight passes, the 4th to Heath to get down to the 1 then the 5th on a play-action to Michael Palmer for the touchdown.


The Jags take over with 1:47 left and 1 timeout but Bortles is able to drive them all the way down into the red zone. The Jags get some free yards when Troy tries to jump the snap on a spike but Bortles can't make a throw in the red zone and the Jags settle for a field goal.



Can't watch The Big Bang Theory the same any more.

Third Quarter

Unlike every other team the Steelers have faced this year, the Jags did not score on their first drive after halftime.The Steelers took another special teams penalty on the punt though.

Lance Moore makes an appearance with a big 3rd down grab for 26 yards over the middle but spikes the ball after the catch and draws a penalty. Moore has some words with Tomlin on the sideline afterwards. The Steelers are able to pick their way into Jacksonville territory but can't get to field goal range after a penalty on Beachum sets them back.

Rookie RB Storm Johnson does what pretty much every rookie RB has done to the Steelers this year and gashes them a few times to get the Jags out near midfield. Bortles completes two passes to get the Jags into field goal range but can't make another throw.


Stop me if you've seen the Steelers in this situation before: facing a vastly inferior team but mired in a close game heading towards the fourth quarter. AB makes a huge catch on 3rd down for 30 yards down the left side to get us out to midfield. Justin Brown shows up and makes two big catches to get us into field goal range.

Fourth Quarter

The Steelers needed a touchdown, but once again totally abandoned the running game once they got inside the 20. On 3rd down, Ben was flushed from the pocket and the ball was knocked out of his hands.

 Jags recover.

On the second play, Bortles tried to catch the Steelers napping with a wheel route but he terribly underthrows the ball and Brice McCain makes a great move to get around a pick by a WR and make the interception in stride and take it back TO THE HOUSE.




Peezy having some bad luck with celebrations this year.

Jacksonville picks up one first down but Lawrence Timmons makes a big tackle on 3rd down to keep them short of the sticks. Strange decision to punt with a 4th and 1 at their own 40.

The Prescription makes things happen by picking up a 3rd and 9 on a check-down pass then getting us into 3rd and 1 on his own. Strangely, Haley calls for a handoff to Will Johnson rather than, you know, Bell or Blount. Johnson is stopped and the Steelers have to punt it back with 5 1/2 minutes left.

Buttholes clenched all over Steeler Nation as the Jaguars offense took the field in a 1-score game late in the 4th quarter, but thankfully they are the Jaguars and suck.

The Steelers get it back with 4 minutes to go and the chance to finally close out a game. The Prescription gets us into 3rd and 1. Rather than running the ball in short-yardage, Ben goes play-action and deftly hits Heath down the seam for a big 13-yarder to put us 1 first down away from sealing it. The Jags use their last timeout after a first down run and Le'Veon gets us into 3rd and short. Blount converts on 3rd and 1 and the clock winds to 2:00 and that's it.

But wait! AB only has 4 catches so the offense comes out in a spread set and Ben hits AB with a little swing pass out of the backfield so that AB can extend his streak of games with 5+ catches and 50+ yards. AB makes some moves and finally runs out of bounds. The clueless announcers comment on how he should stay in bounds when trying to run the clock out because they don't understand math.

Victory Formation (finally).


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