Jailbirds: Cincinnati Bengals Season Preview

2008 Record: 4-11-1

Lots of people in the media have jumped on the Bungles bandwagon, saying that they are a "team to watch out for" in 2009. Our opinion? They're like the second-generation putties on Power Rangers. They were better fighters than the first-generation, who would stand around and wave their arms like morons for excruciatingly long periods of time. However, they had the fatal flaw of being able to be vaporized by a punch/kick/headbutt to the chest. By the way, that's 2 Power Rangers references we've made in 2 days. No idea why.

We see the Bungles in much the same way this year. Carson Palmer is back, or so we've been told. Ochocinco says he's dedicated to playing...and tweeting during a game. Laverneous Coles was brought in from the Jets to be a #2 receiver. Marvin Lewis, somehow, still has his job as head coach of this team after they matched the Detroit Lions game for game through the first half of the season. Remarkably, this team went 4-3-1 in the second half, which is probably the only reason Lewis still has a job.

Cincinnati did reel in one of the biggest steals in the draft, getting defensive end Michael Johnson (Georgia Tech) in the 3rd round of the draft. Some had him projected as first round talent, but he fell to the 3rd and Cincy was quick to act.

In trying to rennovate their image from the jailbirds of the league, Cincy has become Dallas North, picking up players cast off by the Cowboys. Troubled Defensive Tackle Tank Johnson and safety Roy Williams (who, in case you forgot, doesn't know how to cover anyone) have become starters on the Bungles defense. "Experts" will point to the fact that Cincy had the 12th ranked defense in the league last year. However, none of their individual ranks were close to that. Cincy was 21st in rushing defense, 15th in passing defense, 19th in total defense, and 17th in takeaways.

Leon Hall is a decent corner, and is entering his 3rd year since the Bengals invested the #18 overall pick in him. Hall has had two decent seasons and needs to take the next step towards becoming an elite player. At the other corner, Johnathan Joseph enters his 4th year since the Bungles drafted him in the first round. With two first round picks at corner, you would think they would have a better pass defense, but this is not the case. They gave up over 275 yards passing 5 times last season, including 304 yards to Joe Flacco.

Cincy's offense will still be relaint on the passing game, even though they run the charade that Cedric Benson is an adequate NFL running back. Benson hasn't had a good season since Thomas Jones left Chicago. Rather than draft a marquee back out of college, such as Knowshon Moreno or Chris "Beanie" Wells in the draft this year, the Bungles chose to take troubled offensive tackle Andre Smith who held out until last week and then reported to camp well over 350 pounds.

Cincinnati does get back former leader of the chain gang, Chris Henry. Henry has actually shown some skills at wide receiver, and out of the slot, he is more dangerous on the field than Ochostinko. Cincy will be better this year, but they are still a long way from challenging Pittsburgh and Baltimore at the top of the division. Oh yeah, and Keith Rivers is back. Remember the last time we saw him? He was getting laid out by Hines Ward.

Ian's Prediction: 6-10

The Bengals will be better than last year, but they're not anywhere close to a playoff team. At best, they can scrape together 8 wins, but don't expect much more than that. Cincy's team is basically categorized by this conversation I had a few weeks ago:
Me: I really like Cincy's end zones, they're one of the more unique ones in the league. The tiger stripes are a great touch.
Soon-to-be-wife: Yeah, they look like jail bars so they help the players feel comfortable there.

John's Prediction: